LOL. Are you my ex-wife? ha ha. Seriously, starting a new business is all-consuming. It takes as much energy, effort, and attention to start a new venture as it does to raise a child. So I’m not sure if you’ve considered it in this way but if since you have children already then this new business is like adding another child into the family. I bet you didn’t talk about it that way before he decided to do the business though, right?
Here’s what might be happening and how you can help him so that he’s at his best and has more energy and attention for you and the real family. It sounds like he’s in HIGH INNOVATOR mode. This means that he’s probably torn in 3 different directions as to what to do next. He probably wants to have vivid clarity of all the steps between A to Z. He gets excited when he sees high possibility of different breakthrough ideas and then he gets dejected when he’s confronted by the reality of each possible path. As he oscillates between these two states that contributes to his mood swings.
In order to help him, ask him to draw out (literally on paper) the two best options he’s considering. DON’T judge these options. Just listen to him talk them out loud and do your best to really understand them. Then give him your opinion on what’s best to do NOW (if you have questions on this, go to the Strategy Map: Pilot it, Nail it, then Scale it: for reference: ). Then tell him the other option is still a great idea, just NOT YET. That’s the key phrase, “NOT YET.”
Why? When we’re in high Innovator mode, saying “no” to a compelling idea is like asking a crack addict to put down the crack pipe. When you say to him or her, “Great idea! Not yet!” it allows the high innovator style to put their energies on what needs to happen now and still gives them the hope that they can get back to the other idea when the timing is right.
The other thing you can do is to encourage your husband to play to his strengths and to align himself with others who are stronger where he is weaker. Your husband is a genius at something. The more he plays in that zone, the greater his capabilities and expectations of success. Hope this helps.
James H.
April 30, 2013 at 6:26 pm
This is a fun video, but the test itself seems way too simple. How can you be sure that asking a couple questions like this will have someone all figured out? I think you need a more comprehensive testing tool to figure out anything remotely conclusive about someone (if that’s even possible).
Hi James, Thanks for the question. You’re right this “test” is way too simple. What’s an aspiring guru supposed to do in an era of compressed attention spans anyway? 🙂
Here’s the thing: Every system is subjected to its environment. Period. Stop. And that’s what makes this simple test pretty accurate and very useful, especially in the heat of battle like the pressures of everyday work and relationships.
Here’s why it works. All complex adaptive systems, like you and me, must shape and respond to the environment and must do so as a whole organism, including the parts and sub-parts. A “style” is simply a collection of choices and tendencies that flow through our life based on how we’ve learned to function in the world.
Here’s why it’s very useful: If you can quickly discern if someone is currently in Producer, Stabilizer, Innovator, or Unifier mode, then there are some tell-tale tendencies that will emerge within their style. These tendencies are cross-cultural. If you are aware of them, then you are aware of what that person needs, of what information will be more prevalent and what will be missing, and how to form complementary, high performing teams.
Does this sum up a complete person? Absolutely not. Does it help you to manage and make your life and their life easier? Absolutely yes. So use the tool for what it’s for — quickly understanding and influencing others and appreciating what’s going on for them and then use your curiosity and empathy to really get to know them as a person.
Zach
April 30, 2013 at 9:28 pm
Lex,
Thanks. I’m usually leery of such simple tests. Maybe because of my “structured approached”? ; )
But hey, you really hit it on the head here. This should be required reading for anyone in any kind of relationship. Maybe even required for mountain-top hermits, so they can understand themselves better.
I really appreciate your posts. You’re offering great content. I’ll be paying even closer attention now.
Hi Jeremy, Thanks for the question. It’s actually pretty straightforward to SELL to a Big Producer and it can be a nightmare to manage the post sale IMPLEMENTATION unless you set things up right in the sales process itself. Here’s why:
A Big Producer (“Big P”) has a got a huge motor. They’re always under extreme time pressure, move fast, think fast, and are often fighting 3 fires at once. In order to sell to a Big P, you’ll want to amp up your own pace to match theirs and get right to the point of identifying what their current crisis is and determine if your solution can solve it fast. A “yes” means “yes” for a Big P and a “no” means “no.” So if you get a “yes” from the Big P on your proposal, it’s usually a good indicator that you’re actually going to get the deal (unlike with a Big Innovator).
Because the Big P only sees what’s right in front of him or her, and is moving so quickly, the surrounding organization is often left in the dark. Orders get shouted about but there’s no appreciation for the details, the repercussions, or the nuances of navigating the corporate culture. What often happens is that you make the sale but it turns out to be a nightmare to implement because things weren’t set up right in the beginning with the Big P’s team.
Since what you want is not only the sale, but a successful project and referenceable account, you’ll need to do a lot of the project management yourself when a Big P is in charge on the client’s side. This means identifying upfront who will be impacted downstream by the decision and involving them upstream in the decision-making process itself. You’ll need to clarify what their accountabilities are, understand the hidden rakes lying in the grass that can hit you in the nose if you step on them, and to make sure that there’s a commitment from the rest of their organization to implement your solution before proceeding with the signed contract.
LOL. Are you my ex-wife? ha ha. Seriously, starting a new business is all-consuming. It takes as much energy, effort, and attention to start a new venture as it does to raise a child. So I’m not sure if you’ve considered it in this way but if since you have children already then this new business is like adding another child into the family. I bet you didn’t talk about it that way before he decided to do the business though, right?
Here’s what might be happening and how you can help him so that he’s at his best and has more energy and attention for you and the real family. It sounds like he’s in HIGH INNOVATOR mode. This means that he’s probably torn in 3 different directions as to what to do next. He probably wants to have vivid clarity of all the steps between A to Z. He gets excited when he sees high possibility of different breakthrough ideas and then he gets dejected when he’s confronted by the reality of each possible path. As he oscillates between these two states that contributes to his mood swings.
In order to help him, ask him to draw out (literally on paper) the two best options he’s considering. DON’T judge these options. Just listen to him talk them out loud and do your best to really understand them. Then give him your opinion on what’s best to do NOW (if you have questions on this, go to the Strategy Map: Pilot it, Nail it, then Scale it: for reference: ). Then tell him the other option is still a great idea, just NOT YET. That’s the key phrase, “NOT YET.”
Why? When we’re in high Innovator mode, saying “no” to a compelling idea is like asking a crack addict to put down the crack pipe. When you say to him or her, “Great idea! Not yet!” it allows the high innovator style to put their energies on what needs to happen now and still gives them the hope that they can get back to the other idea when the timing is right.
The other thing you can do is to encourage your husband to play to his strengths and to align himself with others who are stronger where he is weaker. Your husband is a genius at something. The more he plays in that zone, the greater his capabilities and expectations of success. Hope this helps.
This is a fun video, but the test itself seems way too simple. How can you be sure that asking a couple questions like this will have someone all figured out? I think you need a more comprehensive testing tool to figure out anything remotely conclusive about someone (if that’s even possible).
Hi James, Thanks for the question. You’re right this “test” is way too simple. What’s an aspiring guru supposed to do in an era of compressed attention spans anyway? 🙂
Here’s the thing: Every system is subjected to its environment. Period. Stop. And that’s what makes this simple test pretty accurate and very useful, especially in the heat of battle like the pressures of everyday work and relationships.
Here’s why it works. All complex adaptive systems, like you and me, must shape and respond to the environment and must do so as a whole organism, including the parts and sub-parts. A “style” is simply a collection of choices and tendencies that flow through our life based on how we’ve learned to function in the world.
Here’s why it’s very useful: If you can quickly discern if someone is currently in Producer, Stabilizer, Innovator, or Unifier mode, then there are some tell-tale tendencies that will emerge within their style. These tendencies are cross-cultural. If you are aware of them, then you are aware of what that person needs, of what information will be more prevalent and what will be missing, and how to form complementary, high performing teams.
Does this sum up a complete person? Absolutely not. Does it help you to manage and make your life and their life easier? Absolutely yes. So use the tool for what it’s for — quickly understanding and influencing others and appreciating what’s going on for them and then use your curiosity and empathy to really get to know them as a person.
Lex,
Thanks. I’m usually leery of such simple tests. Maybe because of my “structured approached”? ; )
But hey, you really hit it on the head here. This should be required reading for anyone in any kind of relationship. Maybe even required for mountain-top hermits, so they can understand themselves better.
I really appreciate your posts. You’re offering great content. I’ll be paying even closer attention now.
Thanks Zach. I appreciate your comment and feedback.
How do you sell to a customer who is a Big Producer?
Hi Jeremy, Thanks for the question. It’s actually pretty straightforward to SELL to a Big Producer and it can be a nightmare to manage the post sale IMPLEMENTATION unless you set things up right in the sales process itself. Here’s why:
A Big Producer (“Big P”) has a got a huge motor. They’re always under extreme time pressure, move fast, think fast, and are often fighting 3 fires at once. In order to sell to a Big P, you’ll want to amp up your own pace to match theirs and get right to the point of identifying what their current crisis is and determine if your solution can solve it fast. A “yes” means “yes” for a Big P and a “no” means “no.” So if you get a “yes” from the Big P on your proposal, it’s usually a good indicator that you’re actually going to get the deal (unlike with a Big Innovator).
Because the Big P only sees what’s right in front of him or her, and is moving so quickly, the surrounding organization is often left in the dark. Orders get shouted about but there’s no appreciation for the details, the repercussions, or the nuances of navigating the corporate culture. What often happens is that you make the sale but it turns out to be a nightmare to implement because things weren’t set up right in the beginning with the Big P’s team.
Since what you want is not only the sale, but a successful project and referenceable account, you’ll need to do a lot of the project management yourself when a Big P is in charge on the client’s side. This means identifying upfront who will be impacted downstream by the decision and involving them upstream in the decision-making process itself. You’ll need to clarify what their accountabilities are, understand the hidden rakes lying in the grass that can hit you in the nose if you step on them, and to make sure that there’s a commitment from the rest of their organization to implement your solution before proceeding with the signed contract.
Thanks Lex! Great perspective.