One thing we all have in common is that we each have a finite amount of energy at any given moment.
I know that sounds a bit weird but hang in with me for a minute. I promise this concept can change your life and relationships for the better.
We must all get new energy from our environment. Period. That’s why we breathe, drink, and eat. It’s also why we seek out information, entertainment, stimulation, recognition, love, and Facebook likes. We all have finite energy and, in order to survive and thrive, we have to get new energy from our environment.
So here’s a question for you. Lately, are your most important relationships and activities feeling like an energy gain or an energy drain?
For instance, tune into your physical fitness and health. Do you feel like you’re getting energy from your physical health or is it costing you energy?
Now, tune into your primary love relationship. Are both of you getting energy from your relationship or is it costing you lately?
Next, tune into your work activities and relationships. What things are costing you energy and what things are adding to your energy? What’s the net balance?
One of the most transformative things you can do in your life is to ask yourself these questions. Pay attention to where you’re currently experiencing energy gains and energy drains. If you notice an energy drain or one emerging, especially in an important area of your life or work, pay attention! Don’t ignore it.
Here’s an analogy. If your life is like a boat sailing towards its destiny, an energy drain is like a hole in the boat below the water line. You may not see it at first but you can’t avoid it for long. You have to plug the hole!
Your PSIU report is one way to identify the gains and drains in your work. How? You will find a section with colored diamonds. If all three diamonds are closely aligned (i.e., there’s not a large gap between them), you tend to feel well aligned in your role. You’re able to express the style you want to express and you feel like you’re meeting the needs of others. There may be hard days but, in general, you feel congruent and energized by your job. It’s a net gain.
If, on the other hand, there are large gaps between the diamonds, this indicates that an energy drain is either active or emerging. When you see a significant gap, I want you to pay close attention. The bigger the gap, the bigger the drain.
Each of us is capable of dealing with energy drains, just as a sailboat is able to sail with a small hole in its hull. But over time, drains eat away at our productivity and happiness. A leaky vessel does not repair itself. It gets more leaky over time. And the bigger the total drains, the harder it is to sustain momentum.
Once you’ve identified the drains in your life, you can sit down and do a brainstorm: what are some steps you can take to eliminate or reduce them? Then make these a priority.
You may be thinking, “OK, I can see the big drain but I’m not sure what to do about it.” Heck, I’m not sure what you should do about it either. Life is complex. Relationships can be messy. Sometimes you just don’t know what to do at first. But awareness is the first step.
What I do know this. If you can just trigger in your conscious mind a new awareness of the energy drains and how they’re affecting you—and determine that you truly want to shift them— then that will trigger your subconscious mind to start exploring solutions.
Be patient with yourself and know that it’s worth it!